Doncaster influencer Lottie Tomlinson calls for help for bereaved in Parliament visit

A Doncaster social media influencer has called for more help for the bereaved after a visit to Parliament to discuss the issue.
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Lottie Tomlinson, sister of Doncaster pop singer Louis Tomlinson, met with Shadow Cabinet Minister for Mental Health Dr Rosena Allin-Khan, to discuss the future of bereavement provision across the UK.

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Rosena has also experienced close bereavements and the pair are keen to ensure those who are grieving are able to access the support they need, when they need it.

Together, they discussed how they felt when they were grieving, the importance of access to bereavement services and the findings of Sue Ryder’s new bereavement research report.

Lottie became an Ambassador of Sue Ryder in 2020, following the death of her mum and sister just three years apart.

Speaking of her involvement, Lottie said: “So many people get to such a dark place when they are grieving because they are not able to get the help that they need and it’s shocking that there isn’t a bereavement pathway in place already.

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“It is a big step to admit you need extra support and for most people their first port of call is their GP. Currently, so many doctors are currently overwhelmed due to the pandemic and bereaved people are giving up finding additional support because they are constantly having to ask for help.

Dr Rosena Allin-Khan and Lottie Tomlinson have teamed up to appeal for more support for bereaved families.Dr Rosena Allin-Khan and Lottie Tomlinson have teamed up to appeal for more support for bereaved families.
Dr Rosena Allin-Khan and Lottie Tomlinson have teamed up to appeal for more support for bereaved families.

“I relied on the support of my friends and family after my mum passed away but sought professional support after my sister died and it made a huge difference. Grief is so overwhelming and painful and I can understand why people don’t want to feel it, but you can end up in a bad place if you try to numb it and push those feelings away.

“Everyone deals with grief really differently and as a large family, I really noticed when one of us dipped in our grief. With my sister, we always noticed that she dealt with grief differently to us, and I think that’s probably why things happened the way they did with her, because she didn’t ever face it and it was very different to how we all coped.

“That’s why I got involved with Sue Ryder, because they understand that everyone’s experience of grief is unique and they offer a range of online bereavement services for people.”

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Dr Rosena Allin-Khan is backing Sue Ryder’s research report following the death of her father, Mohammad Aslam Khan in 2021. Speaking of her involvement, Rosena said:

“I am united with Lottie in supporting Sue Ryder’s ambition to ensure people can talk about grief in a way that is open, honest and personable. I lost my dad last year and it was an emotionally complex time. I have children and a job that requires me to be present and I found it hard to give myself permission to grieve and I didn’t entirely know what was ‘normal’.

“I support Sue Ryder’s call for a clear bereavement pathway as it makes what is a difficult time for everybody, more streamlined. The support people need following a bereavement may be high level addiction or mental health support or accessing organisations with specialist bereavement services, like Sue Ryder.

“For me, it’s really important that people can access support in a confidential way that is culturally and language specific and isn’t a postcode lottery. As a doctor, it would be brilliant to have a clear bereavement pathway, so if someone died in hospital, doctors like me could tell their loved ones that there’s a pathway of support to help them, and GPs and wider health care professionals can have confidence in a range of interventions that ensure everyone gets the help they need.”

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Sue Ryder’s bereavement research report ‘A better route through grief’, surveyed over 8,500 people about their experience of grief to better understand the current access to bereavement support, how it varies across the UK, and the impact that it had. Sue Ryder also surveyed 250 GPs across the UK about how well-equipped they felt to provide bereavement support and what additional information they needed to better support their patients.

The report revealed high levels of unmet need, with 70% of respondents who had experienced a close bereavement(1) reporting that they could not access the support they needed.

Sue Ryder is now calling on the government and healthcare decision-makers to commit to developing a bereavement specific pathway. The pathway should be informed by evidence of effective clinical and non-clinical interventions including counselling, prescription drugs, written information, financial and community based support.

Sue Ryder is ready to support the government on this initiative and would welcome working with other organisations with the expertise and experience of supporting people through a bereavement alongside people with lived experience.

For more information, visit sueryder.org