Don Your Way column: “Single? You’ll have more money then!”
The other day, I was scrolling through Facebook (as you do) with that app that allows you to look back to your 'on this day' memories.
You know the one, a quick dip into your timeline reveals that on this day last year, you were doing this that or the other.
Photos of you tipping ice over your head, dancing to Gangnam Style or some other such passing fad, or trying to work out exactly what that status you wrote seven years ago and which seemed oh so witty at the time, but now doesn't make a blind bit of sense, actually means.
"Let's do this!" Do what? It was March 2012 and I've slept since then.
Invariably, there's also a few photo reminders to sometimes help, drunken nights out or people from your past you'd rather forget about.
Anyway, this leads me to a tale from yore which popped up in my memories and which I don't think I've regaled in this column.
Here's what I posted, word for word.
"Novel approach to begging this morning at Doncaster railway station.
Bloke ambles up: 'Scuse me mate, you single?' A bit taken aback and wondering if he's making a move on me, I nervously reply, 'erm, yeah, why?'. Bloke: 'You will have more money then!' (manic laughter).
'Don't suppose you could lend me a pound could you....?'
Now, I don't share this post because it's particularly entertaining or funny. It wasn't exactly comedy gold back when I initially wrote it and its not now.
That's the joy of Facebook. Most of what we share is inane drivel years down the line.
I also don't share it to raise any attention to begging either or to poke fun at unusual sorts who hang around railway stations (I'm not referring to myself there either).
The reason I've dug it up was for no other reason than the somewhat novel approach he'd used to try and scam a quid and I also say this because the other day, I encountered exactly the same bloke who trotted out the exact same line (there's a lot of this dull repetition about, you know).
Still enquiring of my single status, he again slipped out the same line. When I reminded him that our paths had crossed before, he smiled a toothy grin and calmly replied: "Did you give me any cash last time?"
A bit fearful, I told him that I hadn't. "You're single though ain't you, mate? In that case, I'll take pity and let you off - although you owe me £3 next time!"
And with that, he picked up his scruffy bag and move on, in search of his next 'victim.'
Charming and slick, at least the guy was trying to bring a bit of humour into the art of begging - and for that you have to hand it to him.