‘Now where will I go for plain dye cotton towels?’ was my first – admittedly odd – response to the potential demise of BHS. There, I’ve outed myself as a BHS shopper.
As a parent you make numerous decisions for your children when they are young from what they are going to wear, eat and what time they go to bed. Yet one of the biggest decisions, which school they will attend, is ultimately made by someone else.
A mother and daughter who have spent over £60,000 on perfecting their looks are to star in a new show called My Mum’s Hotter Than Me. The show, to be aired on Channel 5 (where else), follows different stories of parents trying to compete with their children. In particular, it features mum and daughter duo, Georgina and Kayla Clarke who are both plastic surgery fanatics. Their skin is orange, their fake boobs pneumatic, and their lips so ridiculous that they look as though they’ve been pumped up with air at the petrol station. They think they look amazing, but they must have a different mirror at home because the words spec and savers spring to mind. The pair, who turn heads but only for the wrong reason, are so hooked that Kayla began plotting her first breast enlargement at just 11. Whilst most children dream of playing with Barbie dolls, Kayla wanted to look like one. As she grew, the former tomboy began to model herself on her idol, Katie Price. She not only had her boobs enlarged from a C cup to a G, she also shelled out on semi-permanent make-up and regular sessions on the sun bed to turn her skin the colour of creosote. Katie was her inspiration, but if I were Katie Price I’d be gutted because Kayla looks much older than her actual age - 21. But what does her mother think of her daughter’s dramatic transformation? She’s proud. In fact, she’s so happy that she's hopped on-board the plastic fantastic surgery train after Kayla suggested she get her lips done. Now it seems there’s no stopping them. Despite spending around £60,000 on their transformations so far, Kayla craves even more surgery, including another boob job, a nose job, liposuction and fat transfer, and a Brazilian butt lift.
“You have stripped us of everything: the rich have got richer, and the poor have got poorer” – these words reverberated not just amongst the entire Question Time audience at The Dome but literally in every Doncaster household affected by austerity.
I love foraging. Partially because of blackberry crumble, but mostly as a frugal opportunist who hates waste.